It's Like This...According To Me: hillary clinton

Nearly 11.7 million cosmetic surgical and non-surgical procedures were performed in the United States in 2007, according to statistics released today by the American Society for Aesthetic Plastic Surgery. Some of these surgeries, as evidenced in the pictures here, was definitely ‘over-done’ on what some might call Plastic Surgery Junkies.

The Aesthetic Society has been collecting statistics since 1997 and says the overall number of cosmetic procedures has increased 457 % since the collection first began. The most frequently performed procedure was Botox injections and the most popular surgical procedure was liposuction.

Even more shocking is the increase in plastic surgery on teenagers. Nose reshaping appears to still be the most preferred among those under 18, but doctors are finding a steady rise in breast implants, liposuction, and tummy tucks as well. According to the American Society for Aesthetic Plastic Surgery, the number of girls under 18 who received breast implants tripled from 2002 to 2003. Cosmetic surgery is also increasingly popular as a graduation or birthday gift.

Possible plastic surgery junkies go beyond reason. Perhaps they are unwisely shooting for perfection, for immortality. But they are on a hopeless chase. Regardless of whom one is - famous or otherwise - the same rules of life, aging and genetics govern us all.

Examples of overdone plastic surgery and perhaps some Plastic Surgery Junkies:
(Click on the pictures for a larger view)

Courtney Love
Courtney seems to be venturing into the world of plastic surgery junkies. She is starting to become unrecognizable with her multiple procedures. Her admitted two nose jobs, along with obvious other procedures, might well be just too many.

Norwood Young
Norwood Young is an R&B singer that hosts an annual winter holiday party. Michael Jackson isn't the only man to have a little too much done under the knife. You may be a plastic surgery junkie when the nose is just for show.

Heather
Heather had a nose job and breast implants early in her career and has most recently started with the lip injections and what appears to be a facelift. Her face is starting to look overdone.

Meg Ryan
Meg Ryan's over-done lips are a neon-sign for an extreme makeover and puts her on the list as a possible plastic surgery junkie.

Michael Jackson
The Michael Jackson nose is a definite example of what may be a plastic surgery junkie.

Victoria Beckham
Victoria Beckham's breasts could only be described as "bolt-ons", not original equipment are way over the top.

Bruce Jenner
Former Olympian Bruce Jenner's multiple procedures have made his face nearly unrecognizable and puts him on the list of possible plastic siugery junkies.

Kenny Rogers
Kenny Rogers' overdone eye and brow surgery changes make him look unnatural.

Carrot Top
Carrot Top is frequently cited as a top ten contender for most awful plastic surgery disasters, along with familiar faces like Michael Jackson, Jocelyn Wildenstein, and Kenny Rogers. The curly-haired comedian has become better known for his over-the-top appearance than he has for his comedy, which definitely qualifies him as a possible plastic surgery junkie.

Hillary Clinton
Yes, even Hil may be on her way to being a plastic surgery junkie.

If you are the ultimate plastic surgery junkie, in the future you may be able to opt for a complete face transplant.

Face transplant is a recent plastic surgery advance that improves facial appearance, especially for those with severe disfigurement from trauma. There is hope that the procedure will help people with congenital deformities in the future. The procedure is not yet readily available in the United States. But hold on ultimate plastic surgery junkies……it may be coming to your surgeon soon.

Bill Clinton previously seemed ok with the possibility that Hillary might be the President and he would be ‘the first lady’. But his bowing and scraping to his wifey was shattered when Vladimir Putin hinted at the KGB-clever move that, after his second Presidential term, he might run for the Russian Parliament.

If ‘Hil’ were elected this would leave Bill as the ‘first lady’, Vladimir would become the very leader of his majority party, which would nominate him as Prime Minister, while he and they worked to elect a weak President.

Realizing this, Bill asked himself why he might not just as well ask wifey to become the Vice President. While not as important as being the President, the role certainly seemed more comfortable than being the nation's ‘first lady’.

The idea sounded like a no-brainer to Bill, so he was reportedly shocked at Hillary’s response.

Hillary got mad.

"You want to be just like Vladimir Putin!" she is said to have shouted across the dinner table. "I read the news, too, slick Willy! You think I'm going to be a weak President just for you?"

"But, Hillary, you'll never be a weak President," he told her. "How can you ever be weak with a mouth like yours?"

"Just shut up, OK? And get used to it. You're going to be the ‘first lady’, not the vice president!"

So now Bill faces the distressing prospect of being the ‘first lady’ while Vladimir Putin manages to operate as Russia's surrogate President.

However, It’s Like This …According To Me….

Bill…settle down and just fall into the role that you have already been used to, if Hillary gets elected. After all, everyone knows that even when you were in office she was running the country.